The South Park Games
by UndoneChaos
Summary: Cherri Stem, a nineteen year old girl from Oklahoma gathers up twenty kids from South Park and pairs them into teams. Nine hours away from home, the teens are pretty much stranded with nothing to do except listen to a bat shit crazy young adult with cherry red hair. Better than it sounds. I think.
1. Picking the Tributes

**I was inspired, OK? Now, either stay to read this or begone! BTW, this isn't really Hunger Games, more of a spoof from my own mind. I decided that it would just be easier to follow my own plan, instead of making my favorite characters kill each other. So, here we go! Oh, and thanks to BattyCore for being awesome, and marcen12 for supporting me! Love you, bro and bro-ette!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own South Park, nor the Hunger Games(even though I'm spoofing it), nor anything else professional that I might mention. Seriouslah.**

All of the town of South Park stood, staring up at the stage in the Town Square. A figure in cherry colored clothing emerged, a girl looking about nineteen and wearing a wig to match her attire. She stepped up to the microphone centered in the stage and cleared her throat.

"Hello, and welcome to the 1st annual Games! My name is Cherri Stem, and I am the official Games announcer! I am here to tell you that you, and by you I obviously mean the children of South Park, will be competing in a competition! I will call forth 24 tributes, participation is mandatory! If I call your name, you must step forth onto the stage or be dragged up by security. Your choice! Now, let us begin!"

She walked over to a big glass bowl sitting on a table on the right end of the stage. Dipping her hand in, she plucked one small piece of paper from the bowl and walked back to the microphone, ready to announce the first tribute.

"This year's first tribute will be….. Eric Cartman!"

Up until a name was actually called, the whole town of South Park had been stark still, staring up in confusion at the woman in the cherri a-line wig. Upon hearing a name called though, the whole town turned to noise. There was crying and shouting and, basically just plain chaos. But loudest of all was Cartman himself, glaring at Cherri with such rage that if looks could kill, she's already be six feet under.

"I'M WHAT NOW? I DON'T THINK SO, BITCH!" Cartman fumed, storming and pushing his way past the crowd to the stage, where Cherri was currently recovering from being called the big, bad B-word.

When she finally found her voice, she pointed to Cartman and stated, "This is our first tribute! Now, to change things up a little, instead of me picking the remaining 23 children, this here boy will pick the next child, and that child will pick the next, and so on. So who do you pick, boy?" Cherri turned her attention to Cartman, who, although clearly still pissed, grinned at the thought of who HE was going to be able to sentence to complete and utter boredom.

"KYLE BROFLOVSKI, GET YOUR LYING, GREEDY, JEW BUTT UP HEAH!" Cartman yelled, although you could tell he was quite happy to call the name.

"Bubbelah, don't do it! Don't go up–" Mrs. Broflovski was cut off.

"Ma, it looks like I have to. Plus, any chance of beating fatass, I'm taking!" Kyle said before climbing the steps to the stage.

"OK, so… I pick Stan Marsh!" Kyle called out, but not before adding, "Dude, I jut don't want to be alone with fatass, I need a friend".

Stan climed the steps, ignoring his father's calls of "Whoo, Stan's gonna be famous!" He was obviously drunk.

"Um, and I pick… Kenny McCormick, cuz bro, it wouldn't be a party without you there!" Stan smiled as Kenny climbed up the steps, also ignoring his father(and mother's)calls of "Make us proud, honey! Win for us!" that soon turned into bickering between the two.

"Mmph, Mmph mph mmmph!" Kenny said. Cherri gave him a strange look before turning to Kyle.

"What?" She asked. Kyle laughed.

"He said, I pick Craig Tucker!" And then Kyle broke out into fits of laughter.

Craig morosely combed the steps, flipping Kenny off but grinning nonetheless. He took his spot next to Stan before calling out, "I pick Tweek Tweak!"

"GAH! JESUS CHRIST, CRAIG! WHY? GAH! WE'RE GOING TO BE SO BORED!" Tweek climbed the steps, jittering and shouting and… crying? Craig smirked at his blonde friend before pulling him into a hug.

"It'll be OK. Now, pick someone", Craig whispered.

"Umm… Too much pressure! OK, OK, Tweek, calm down. I pick Clyde Donovan", Tweek said, releasing a breath he didn't know he'd been holding. Clyde climbed up the steps.

"Ok, and I pick Leopold Stotch!" People looked around, obviously not knowing who he meant. "Butters!" Clyde corrected, answering many people's questions of 'Who is Leopold?'.

"Aww, gee. I don't think that's a very good idea, fellas!" Butters said.

"Butters, if you don't participate in the Games you're grounded, mister!" Mr. Stotch warned.

"Aw, but dad–"

"No buts! Get up there this instant young man!" His dad worked.

"Aw, hamburgers!" Butters mumbled, but climbed up onto the stage anyway. "I pick… Bradley! I don't think I ever learned his last name, but…" Butters trailed off, muttering mostly to himself.

Bradley made his way up to the stage, ignoring his councilor telling him, "Don't do it Bradley, we're fixing you!" Bradley looked at Cherri.

"I d-don't know anyone but Butters, who do I pick?" He asked. Apparently Cherri had planned for this situation, because she just smiled.

"No problem, I'll just pick another name!" Her hand dug into the transparent bowl once more, before pulling out a slip of paper and reading off it, "Christophe DeLorne!"

More murmurs ran through the Square, people muttering comments about 'Who is that?', and 'Didn't he die?'.

Their questions were answered when a boy with brown hair, a cigar in his mouth, and a shovel strapped to his back climbed up onto the stage.

"Vat ees zees nonzenze? Oh, I am zuppozed to peek zomeone? OK, I peek Gregory, because eef I go down, zat blonde fag ees going down weeth me!" Cherri blinked at him, surely confused by his accent, but nonetheless clapped her hands together.

"Wonderful! Now, any more? Any more children to volunteer, or be picked?" Silence met Cherri's question. "Ok, you leave me no choice!" She said tauntingly and stuck her hand into the crystal bowl, pulling out a name.

"Wendy Testaburger!" Cherri called out.

Wendy didn't even bother protesting. Why would she? Instead, she just climbed the stairs.

"I pick Bebe Stevens!" Wendy called out. Bebe silently joined her onstage, but when she stood next to Wendy, they did their signature hip-bump.

"OK, and now…" Cherri trailed off, counting the contestants, "We have 13 tributes. Any more?" She called, hope in her voice.

"We'll do it. I mean, it's not like there's anything better to do around here than just sit and rot", Evan called.

"Cha," Dylan agreed and Henrietta and Georgie nodded. The Goths all made there way up to the stage with the rest of the tributes.

"Great! That's seventeen! Any more?" Cherri called. No response. "OK, I'll pick another name!" Cherri pulled another slip of paper. "Pip Pirrup!" She called cheerfully.

"Oh, dear, well, if I must…" He trailed off and then said, "I pick Damien Thorn!"

Damien glared at Pip, but trudged his way up the stairs.

"Fabulous!" Cherri cried. "That's nineteen. Any more? No? Not even one? Wow, your town is small–"

"I'll–COCK!–do it!'' Thomas carefully climbed his way up the stairs, desperately trying to hold back any more outbursts.

"OK, and that's it then? No more kids in your town? Well, OK then, we'll just have to cut it short!" Her Okie accent rang heavily through the Square. "Say goodbye now, for you may not ever see these kids again!"

**OHDEARLORD….. THAT TOOK FOREVER. I am aware I left out Jimmy, Timmy, and Token, along with a few of the girls, but I got tired and I didn't really want to deal with writing about either someone I didn't know well(the girls) or someone(s) who can't talk well–or at all(Jimmy and Timmy).**

**Half way through this, I decided to not make this a Hunger Games & South Park crossover, but instead my own thing! Like, so, they won't be fighting to the death. Ja, that's basically it… OH, but they WILL BE competing, keep reading if you want to know for what!**

**AND ohmygohd, I almost forgot! The thing that everyone is worrying about is that their child might die…. from boredom. Yep, I know it's weird, but come on people! This is South Park we're talking about! Everyone there's an overreacter! (At least all the adults are… -.-)**

**Bye 4 nahw!**


	2. Picking the Teams

**And here's chapter two, the driving to the location and the picking of the teams! Wow, I'm retarded. Well, anyways, read on!**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. Except for Cherri Stem, my OC.**

All of the twenty tributes sat in the living room portion of Cherri's RV. Cherri was currently driving to some unknown location while singing along to the radio.

"One in a million, my lucky strike", Cherri sang, tapping her hands on the wheel of the RV.

"Bitch, PLEASE will you SHUT UP?" Cartman screeched from his spot on the couch. Cherri stopped singing and turned to him.

"My RV, my rules. Now, I'm going to go back to singing, and if you protest once more, I will personally stiletto boot you off!" Cherri snapped, before turning back to face the road and change the station. Give Your Heart a Break came on.

"So let me give your heart a break…" Cherri trailed off.

"Cartman might have been right, ma'am. You seem to f-focus better when you aren't distracted by music", Butters spoke. Cherri clicked the radio off.

"OK, fine. I might as well tell you where we're going, anyway. We've been driving for three hours and i still haven't told you".

"Oh, wonderful. The conformist bitch is talking to us now", Evan stated.

"Well, we better listen anyway, I don't want a stiletto up my ass", Henrietta added.

"Cha", Dylan agreed, and Georgie nodded.

"Well, hmm… How do I say this… OK, so first of all, we have about six hours left…" Cherri's attention was lost when she heard a noise coming from outside the bus. "What was that?" She asked.

"A rock, goddammit. Now, are you go-eeng to tell uz vhere ve are go-eeng or not?" Christophe spat. Kenny nodded.

"FINE! We're going up in the mountains to my personal campground/hot springs, Cherri Falls. That is where you will stay for the duration of the competition", Cherri replied.

"We're going to stay at a PRIVATE campground with HOT SPRINGS?" Kyle said, obviously taken aback.

"Sweet, dude!" Stan added.

"Yes, it certainly is. When we arrive, I will put you all into teams of two. NO, you don't get to pick your teams, and NO I will not announce them now", Cherri explained.

"Aww!" Everyone in the RV, except Pip and Cartman (who had fallen asleep of boredom), replied.

"Oh, I'm sure we'll have a jolly old time no matter what!" Pip exclaimed.

"Shut up, Pip", Damien voiced.

Cherri clicked the radio back on, The Story of Us coming on.

"The story of us looks a lot like a tragedy now!" Cherri sang. Everyone, again except Pip and Cartman, groaned.

_**AT CHERRI FALLS…**_

"A'ight, we're here!" Cherri's Okie accent rang through the RV, waking many of the sleeping contestants up.

"Thank god!" Cartman groaned, standing up and stretching. He walked up to the door and opened it, stepping out.

"A'ight…. We're here!" Cherri said louder. No one moved.

"Here," Cartman said, before pulling out his megaphone and shouting, "HEY DUMBASSES, GET YOUR GAY BUTTS UP!" into it.

Everyone got up and exited the RV, but not before they all groaned and stretched as well.

Cherri was the last one to remove herself from the vehicle. She stood before the tributes, who were all in a line.

"OK, so now that we are all together and all conscious' I will announce the teams. I will give each team a number, from one to ten. Once I announce your team you will go to the cabin with the same number as you. That will be your designated cabin. You do not get to pick your teams. Any questions?" Cherri asked. Everyone shook their head. "OK, great! I'll get started then! First team is… Stan and Kyle! You are team one".

"Awesome, dude!" Stan said. Kyle nodded and they headed to the cabin marked one.

"Next is Craig and Tweek! You are team two".

"C'mon, Tweek", Craig said, and Tweek followed him to cabin two.

"Next is Butters and Bradley! You are team three!"

"C-come on, Bradley. We h-have to go to our cabin now!" Butters said cheerfully. Bradley looked nervous but followed Butters anyway.

"Team four is Kenny and Christophe!" Cherri called happily. Kenny and Christophe exchanged glances.

"Zo I am partnered up vith jhoo?" Christophe asked Kenny.

"Guess so bro. The should be interesting, come on!" Kenny patted him on the back and walked to the cabin. Christophe followed.

"Team five is Pip and Damien!"

"Oh, Damien, we shall have a jolly old time, shan't we?" Pip asked. Damien just let out an exasperated sigh before grabbing Pip's arm and dragging him into cabin five.

"Wendy and Bebe, you will be team six".

"OK!" Wendy called.

"Yeah, we're cool with that!" Bebe added, and the two girls headed to cabin six.

"Cartman, Gregory, head to cabin seven!"

"Aw, why do I have to be with the blonde fag? Thats weak, dude. Lame", Cartman called.

"Yes, I also don't agree with being paired up with this rogue. I attended Yardale where I ha grade point average–" Gregory was interrupted by everyone's shouts of 'WE KNOW!'.

"Too bad! Go to your cabin now!" Cherri shouted at the boys, who both unwillingly complied to her command.

"Team eight is Thomas and Clyde!"

"Um, OK. I guess that would be fine. Bettor chance to get to know him…" Clyde trailed off.

"Yeah, that would –COCK– be fine", Thomas blushed and trudged to the cabin, Clyde on his heels.

"Henrietta and Georgie, you are team nine, and Evan and Dylan, you are team ten!" Cherri smiled, happy she finally finished announcing the teams.

"Come on Georgie, at least we're wallowing in the pit of darkness together", Henrietta stated and they headed off to their cabin.

"So, like, what happens next?" Evan asked Cherri.

"Cha", Dylan agreed.

"Um, well, you go to your cabins… And in an hour or so I will come get you so we can do the next thing on the list!" Cherri explained.

"Which is?" Evan asked.

"Cha," Dylan added.

"Um… A surprise! NOW GO I HAVE TO PLAN!" Cherri shouted.

"Come on, Dylan. This conformist bitch won't tell us anything", Evan said, heading to cabin ten.

"Cha," Dylan said, and fowled him.

"Well, now that that's done, I HAVE TO FIGURE OUT WHAT HAPPENS NEXT!" Cherri shout-whispered worriedly, and headed off to her own cabin, the one marked double zero.

**There is this super annoying kid named Anthony who, like, called me an ugly stupid retard Iranian today. I told him that I wished upon him 1,000 threads of darkness to rape him in the mouth. IT DIDN'T SHUT HIM UP!**

**Wah, I hate him so much…**

**OK, anyways, so just incase y'all have forgotten what the teams are, here's a reminder:**

**Team One: Stan/Kyle**

**Team Two: Um… OH! Craig/Tweek**

**Team Three: Butters/Bradley**

**Team Four: Kenny/Christophe**

**Team Five: Pip/Damien**

**Team Six: Wendy/Bebe**

**Team Seven: Cartman/Gregory**

**Team Eight: Thomas/Clyde**

**Team Nine: Henrietta/Georgie**

**Team Ten: Evan/Dylan**

**There you go! Have fun, the next chappie will be up between today and tomorrow, hopefully!**


	3. Getting Settled

**Hah! Finally, I'm getting to write this! Here it is, chapter three of SPG!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Sadly… :P**

**Team One POV**

"Oh, wow, this cabin is amazing!" Kyle said as he sat down on a bed with a shiny green comforter on it.

"Yeah, this is pretty legit", Stan added, also sitting down on a bed, this one having a shiny blue cover on it.

"I wonder if she planned to make the cabins more to our liking," Kyle asked Stan.

"Hmm, I don't know. I mean, it is a pretty strange coincidence that everything on this side is my favorite color, and everything on that side is your favorite color", Stan answered.

"Yeah. Hey, did Cherri mention anything about what would happen next?" Kyle looked at Stan.

"No. Well, I mean, she didn't announce anything, but I overheard her telling one of the goth kids that she would come get us in an hour. She didn't say for what though, she said it was a surprise. But judging by her personality, I'd say_ she_ probably doesn't even know yet".

"Hmm?" Kyle said. He had been distracted by what looked like a camera in the corner of the cabin.

"I said, I don't know!" Stan shortened, for he was tired and did not care to repeat the essay he had just voiced.

"Oh, OK. Hey, Stan, what is that?" Kyle asked, pointing to the camera looking thing in the corner of the room.

Stan's eyes followed to where Kyle was pointing. "What _is _that thing?" he asked while getting up to get a closer look. He walked towards it, stopping about a foot in front of it.

"I think it's a camera!'' Stan turned towards Kyle before looking back at the camera. "Yeah, it is. But why would there be a camera in here?"

"Maybe Cherri thinks we'll run away. I mean, there really isn't any reason to leave our cabins. We have a bathroom in here, and we each have a mini fridge…" Kyle trailed off, looking around the room.

"Yeah. Huh. Well, I'll ask her about it when she comes to get us. For now, I'm taking a nap", Stan said, before kicking off his shoes and sliding under the blue comforter.

"Me too," Kyle added, and did the same.

**Team Two POV**

"Gah! Oh, wow. This is a nice cabin! Hey, Craig, look! Mini fridges! Aren't they cute?" Tweek stepped from the doorframe and walked over to a mini fridge with coffee cups painted all over it. He leaned down and patted the top of it, as if it were alive.

"Tweek, what are you doing?" Craig asked while throwing his Red Racer duffel bag onto the floor.

"Um, petting the fridge? Oh! Wow, that does sound–Gah!–ridiculous", Tweek said, pulling his hand from the top of the fridge and sliding it down to the handle so he could open it.

"Hey, look! Coffee!" Tweek exclaimed, pulling one of the while cups from the fridge. He raised it up to his nose and breathed in. "Hmm, it's still warm! How did she do that?"

"Did you just call the fridge a she?" Craig asked, plopping down on a twin sized bed with Red Racer sheets on it.

"No! I'm not that weird! Jesus Christ!" Tweek glared at Craig. "I was referring to Cherri", He said, as if it was the simplest thing in the world for anyone to figure out.

"Oh. Yeah, huh. Maybe she has special powers!" Craig exclaimed, making Tweek jump.

"OHMYGOD! What if she's in cahoots with the gnomes? GAH! Oh my god, they're going to get me!" Tweek threw his mug to the left side of him before dive-bombing under the covers of the bed with coffee cup sheets.

Craig, who was normally calm and used to this kind of thing, was taken aback by how, well, not-goodly Tweek had reacted. He walked over to Tweek's bed and sat down next to the lump which was Tweek, pulling it into his arms.

"It's going to be OK, I promise. If the gnomes are here, I swear to you, I will protect you", Craig told the lump. Tweek's head popped out from under the sheets.

"Really?" He asked.

"Uh-huh," Craig answered and then, so very much un-Craig-like, kissed Tweek on the forehead.

**Team Three POV**

"Oh, hey! This cabin kinda looks like the one we shared in bi-curious camp!'' Butters exclaimed, walking through the door.

"Yeah, it does", Bradley added, following Butters in.

"Oh, yeah, about that… How are you doing at bi-curious camp?" Butters asked Bradley, sitting down on a bed with a Hello Kitty comforter.

"Um, y-you know. Better, I guess. I don't feel like I've changed at all, but I must have! I've been there for eight years", Bradley answered.

"Oh my, that's a long time! Did you ever get lonely up there?" Butters asked, now laying down on the bed.

"No, but I thought of you a lot. I missed you. You were, like, my only true friend. You understood me, even when I didn't myself. And I never told you thank you!" Bradley, who was now also laying on his bed, one with white sheets, started to cry.

"Oh, Bradley, don't cry! You didn't need to thank me!" Butters said, trying to comfort his old Accountibillibuddy.

"Hm, no, I'm not crying because I'm sad. I'm crying because I'm happy to see you again", Bradley explained, wiping his eyes.

"Oh, it's nice to see you too, Bradley. We have a lot of catching up to do!" Butters said, relieved that Bradley wasn't sad.

The two boys then proceeded to 'catch up' on each other's lives.

**Team Four POV**

"Oh, wow! This cabin rules!" Kenny exclaimed, happily running in and twirling around in the cabin until he made himself dizzy. Christophe just stood in the doorway, waiting for an opening so he could sneak past Kenny and put his stuff down.

"Oui, zées cabin ees very nice, but could jhoo possibly stop twirling around like a faireey preencess zo I can geet zhrou?" Christophe asked Kenny.

"Oh, sure bro", Kenny said and stopped 'twirling around like a fairy princess'.

"Zank jhoo", Christophe said, and entered the cabin, setting down his bag and shovel.

"No prob. Hey, why do you carry that shovel around with you all the time?" Kenny asked.

"Becauze I like to be able to heet people on ze head vith eet if zey pees me off", Christophe explained.

"Um… OK", Kenny said, letting his eyes wander around the room. "Oh, hey! Playboys!" He happily exclaimed.

"Vat? Vhere?" Christophe looked around as well.

"Here, bro", Kenny said, and threw him one.

"Vhat? No! I do not reed playboys! Jesus, I – Oh, vhatever, merci quand même", Christophe said, and caught the Playboy that Kenny had thrown at him.

"WHAT?" Kenny looked at him like he had grown three heads.

"Vhat do jhoo meen 'vhat?' ", Christophe asked.

"What did you just say?" Kenny asked.

"Oh, um… I saeed zat een French?" Christophe blushed. "It meens zanks anyvay", he explained.

"Oh, cool! Could you teach me French? I've always wanted to learn another language!" Kenny asked excitedly.

"Uh, OK. Let's start vith 'Alouette'. Ees zat OK?" Christophe asked.

"Yeah, but what's allehoota mean?" Kenny replied.

"Alouette! And eet ees a song. It goees like zees: Allouette, gentille Allouette, Allouette, je te plumerai", Christophe sung.

"Um, OK… can we start with something easier?" Kenny asked.

"Eezh! Fine, ve start vith 'ello. To saee 'ello een French, jhoo saee 'Bonjour' ", Christophe looked at Kenny.

"Bonjour. Hey, that wasn't so hard!" Kenny exclaimed, proud of himself.

"Zee? OK, zat's enough for todaeey. I'm goeeng to take a nap. Have fun reeding jhour Playboys". Christophe said, and proceeded to take a nap.

**Team Five POV**

"Oh, this is a splendid cabin, isn't it Damien?" Pip asked cheerfully, walking through the cabin door and sitting on a chair in the middle of the room.

"Yeah, it rocks", Damien said sarcastically.

"What's wrong, old chap? You don't seem to be enjoying yourself!" Pip questioned worriedly.

"I'm the son of Satan. Do you really think I'd have fun being abducted by a preppy teen with nothing better to do than Okie us all to death?" Damien asked.

"Um, I don't really know how to respond to that. But, fine. If you're going to be a grouch, maybe you should take a nap. I'll make some tea for when you get up!" Pip then preceded to walk to a cupboard, look through it, pull out a kettle, fill the kettle with water, heat up the water, and make tea.

"Yeah. I'll do that", Damien looked at Pip incredulously as he whizzed around the kitchen.

"OK, old chap! I'll be here when you wake up!" Pip said cheerily.

"Uh-huh", Damien then laid down on the bed with a black comforter and closed his eyes, willing sleep to come.

**Team Six POV**

"Ooh, this cabin is so pretty!" Wendy voiced. Bebe nodded and walked over to a bed with a pink satin cover.

"I get this bed!" she told Wendy. Wendy looked at her.

"No problem! I like this one better, anyways", she pointed to the bed opposite Bebe's. It had a thick purple cover on it.

"This cabin really is nice, there's two mini fridges, a kitchen and bathroom area, and it's big enough to be my house", Bebe noticed.

"Yep. I wonder what we'll be doing, though. I mean, we're staying in cabins–fabulous cabins–nine hours away from South Park at the personal hot spring of our… Coach? Cherri Stem, and… Wait, what am I talking about again?" Wendy asked. Bebe looked about as confused as Wendy felt.

"I don't know… I'm going to try to get to sleep before Cherri comes to get us", Bebe answered.

"Yeah, me too. Good, uh, night?" Wendy agreed.

"Good, yeah, um, night", Bebe replied.

**Team Seven POV**

"Ay! Frenchie! Move outta the doorway so I can get through!" Cartman pushed past Gregory into the cabin. On one side it looked all proper, and on the other side it looked, well, like it was meant for Cartman. "Ooh, I get this bed!" Cartman rushed over to the bed with Terrance & Phillip sheets on it.

"I don't see any problem with that at all", Gregory said, recovering from just being smooshed into a doorframe. He straighter his hair and fixed his shirt. "And I'm British, not French", he added.

"Oh, whatever. Either way, you're still a pussy. I can't believe that… Cherri bitch paired us up!" Cartman wailed.

"Well, I don't particularly like this arrangement either, but we have no choice", Gregory stated.

"Yeah, yeah. Whatever. I'mma go to sleep, so… Screw you guys, I'm taking a nap!" Cartman crawled under the covers and immediately began to snore.

"Oh dear, I need to have a talk with Cherri about this arrangement", Gregory said, and sat down on his bed.

**Team Eight POV**

"I like this cabin", Clyde stated, walking in and holding the record for least spastic attitude toward cabin. He set down his things and sat on a bed with sheets covered in little taco pictures. Thomas still stood in the doorway.

"Well, come in! Take off your coat and stay awhile!" Clyde said to Thomas.

"What? I'm not wearing a–BITCH!–coat…" Thomas blushed at his sudden outburst. "Oh, gosh, I'm so sorry. I really try to hold them in".

"What? Dude, it's not your fault! I don't care. And, like Craig would say, if I could say ANY of the things you say to people, I would be sooo happy", Clyde laughed at his horrible imitation of Craig's voice.

"Oh, OK", Thomas said, and walked into the cabin. He sat down on the bed opposite Clyde, one with checks on the sheets. He set down his stuff and leaned his face into the pillow.

"Dude… Um… What are you doing?" Clyde asked.

"Just because you say you don't mind my outbursts, doesn't–SHIT!–make me less embarrassed", he answered.

Clyde didn't know what to say to that, so he just said, "Um… OK? Wait, no. Uhg, I'm really bad with words, so I don't know what to say here, but just… Look, dude. Don't be embarrassed… And… UHG!" Clyde then followed suit by also face plating into his pillow.

**Team Nine POV**

"Wow, this cabin is über strange", Henrietta said as she walked into the cabin, setting her stuff down. She sat down on a bed with a dark purple cover on it.

"Yeah", Georgie agreed, sitting down on the opposite bed. This bed had a black cover.

"Wow. Look, coffee", Henrietta pointed to two cups of coffee sitting on a table in the middle of the room. She walked over and grabbed them, handing one to Georgie before sitting back down.

"Huh. That Nazi conformist cheerleader is a strange one", Georgie commented. Henrietta nodded.

"What do you think she has planned?" Henrietta asked, taking a sip of coffee.

"I don't know", Georgie said. They both sat there in silence, drinking their coffee.

**Team Ten POV**

"Ugh! That conformist bitch is so confusing", Evan groaned as he made his way through the cabin door.

"Cha", Dylan agreed, sitting down on a bed that had a red and black conformer on it.

"Is that all you say?" Evan asked, now also sitting down on his bed.

"What? No. You've heard me talk before", Dylan replied.

"Oh, yeah. I have to say", Evan said, looking around the cabin, "that she did a pretty good job for a conformist wannabe".

Dylan looked around the cabin as well. Everything was black and there were Goth band posters hanging on the walls. Someone had also painted a cross on the right side of the cabin, and aback chandelier hung from the ceiling. "Cha", he agreed.

Evan layer back on the bed. "I hope we're not just going to play some conformist game like… Truth or Dare and hen get sent home", he said.

"No, Goth Truth or Dare is cool. It's the other players that make the game conformist", Dylan answered.

"Oh, yeah. Whatever, I just hope Britney wannabe doesn't take too long with the planning", Evan said.

"Cha", Dylan agreed.

**FINALLY DONE! Well, not with the story, just the chapter. Hope you liked this, more to come!**

**Oh, and you might notice that some of the POVs are longer than others, it's just because I had more ideas for certain teams than others.**

**READ ON, FELLOW FANFICCERS!**


	4. Baby Dolls With a Twist!

**And Cherri has come up with a plan! JTLUK, Cherri is actually basically me. I mean, I'm not nineteen, but her character is basically my way of inserting myself into the story. So when you read about Cherri just below, this will make much more sense.**

**Disclaimer: Don't own.**

Cherri, who had almost given up on the whole 'contest' thing, was laying on her bed watching episodes of South Park, her favorite show. Well duh, that's why she went and got the characters! Anyway, halfway through the episode "Follow That Egg", and after reading quite a few South Park fics entitled 'Baby Doll', she had an idea. But, of course, knowing Cherri, her idea wasn't exactly what you might think.

"I have an idea!" Cherri shouted, jumping up off her bed and rushing out the door to tell her contestants what they would be doing.

_**AT THE TEAMS' CABINS**_

"All right! I am now officially prepared for what we will be doing over the next few weeks! If you have any problems with my planning, take them up with Jaz!" Cherri stood in front of the line of twenty kids, yelling into a megaphone and giving off drill sergeant vibes. She pointed to a little boy standing next to her, he looked about six. He had blonde hair and chocolate brown eyes.

"Jaz here is my assistant! You will listen to him and respect him, as you do me! Now, listen up!" Cherri pulled the megaphone away from her mouth to talk in a normal voice. "It took a while, but I have finally figured out the best challenge for you sixteen year olds to do!"

Everyone looked at her expectantly, waiting for their directions. Needless to say, they were all a… Little scared of her.

"For the next few weeks, you will be taking care of these!" At Cherri's command, ten men came up behind her, each holding a bassinet. In each bassinet was a… Baby doll.

"These are not what they seem!" Cherri called to the kids. "They may look like baby dolls, but they are not! They are REAL LIVING babies, and for the next few weeks, you will be taking care of them!"

Everyone was shocked still. Well, except Kenny who was having a stare war with Jaz, and Christophe, who's jaw dropped so much his cigarette fell out of his mouth. "We 'ave to take care of babiez?" He asked Cherri.

"Yes! Each team will get a baby, a REAL LIVE baby, to feed and name and take care of! I trust you can do this, right?" Cherri's shit-eating grin was starting to creep everyone out.

"W-where did you _get_ the babies?" Wendy asked timidly. "You didn't take them from their families, did you?"

"No!" Cherri reassured. "These babies were… OK, honestly I don't know how I got them. I got the idea, called Jaz to get the babies, and here they are!" Cherri patted Jaz on the head, resulting in the little blonde boy purring.

"We can't take care of babies", Dylan voiced. Evan, Henrietta, and Georgie nodded.

"Well, too bad. At least you don't have to fight to the death, or something like that!" Cherri smiled. The kids were starting to think that she was a little evil…

"You aren't in cahoots with Mr. Garrison, are you?" Butters asked warily. Cherri turned to face him, confusion plastered on her face.

"Who?"

"Uh, I guess not then", Butters whispered.

"HELL SHIT DAMN AM _**I **_TAKING CARE OF A BABY!" None other than Eric Cartman called.

"OK! You can choose not to take care of the baby. That's fine with me. But every baby you people choose not to take care of will get fed to Jaz's alligator, Rocky Road", Cherri stated.

"OH, good lord! Fine, we'll do it!" Bebe screamed, horrified that someone as nice looking as Cherri could kill _babies_ for her own entertainment.

"Fabulous choice", Cherri called. "Each team will receive one baby. You will find a crib and other baby necessities in your cabins when you re-enter them. You will get points added or taken away on how well, or how poorly your baby is taken care of. Have fun!" Cherri made one swift motion with her hand and all of the men holding the bassinets walked over to each team, handing them a baby. Every baby was fast asleep. Fortunately.

Each team took a baby. "You may now return to your cabins", Cherri said, and turned to walk away, Jaz on her heels. The teams then made their way into their respective cabins.

This was going to be a long few weeks.

**Right. So… As you can probably tell, this isn't anywhere near the Hunger Games. I mean, the style of set-up is kind of the same, but that's it. Sorry if I didn't make it clear enough in relier chapters that this ISN'T a fight to the death. If you want to read about that, try the story "Quarter Quell Redux". It's pretty good.**

**Yes, the South Park-iens ARE taking care of babies. Not dolls, babies. This is how it will work:**

**You have read about how to get points already, I'll leave that out. At the end of each week, the team with the least points will be disqualified. No suggestions for who will win, I already know.**

**If this news is disappointing to you, I apologize. But I was really stuck before I came up with this idea. I almost quit on the story, and this was the only was I could save it.**

**Sorry for any mislead hopes. I appreciate the people who will stay by this story anyway. Thank you.**

**Yes, this will have YAOI, and ****yes****, you will get a kissing scene soon.**

**No spoilers as to who it is, but I'll tell you this… You won't find out unless you keep reading.**

**Thank you once more for reading my 234 word, paper page & a half A/N. It means a lot.**

**Next chapter ****WILL**** be up today.**

**Ciao for now**

– **Chaos**


	5. Getting Settled Again

**Here's the next chapter! It's not everyone's POV this time, just a few. Maybe half.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing but my crazy-ass brain.**

**Team One POV**

"Fuck!" Stan said as he entered the cabin for the second time that day. Kyle was right behind him, holding the bassinet.

"Stan! Watch the bad language!" He whispered, setting down the bassinet and picking up the baby out of it, holding it in his arms.

"Well?" Stan asked impatiently.

"Well what?" Kyle calmly responded, rocking the baby.

"Is it a dude or a chick?" Stan answered, falling back onto his bed but still looking at Kyle and the baby.

"Um… Hold on let me check–Of course it's a girl, Stan! Haven't you even looked at her?" Kyle asked, his voice raising just a bit at his Super Best Friend.

"Uh, no. She was all wrapped up in the blankets, I didn't get a chance! So, what does she look like?" Stan wondered aloud.

"Us", Kyle said simply.

"Wait, what? How can she look like us?" Stan looked at Kyle, bewildered.

"Uh, I don't know. But look at her. She has my hair and your eyes", Kyle whispered, taken aback by the baby's appearance. Stan leaned in to get a closer look. Sure enough, the baby girl had crystal blue eyes and red bouncing ringlets framing her face.

"Wh-what? How…" Stan trailed off. "Hey, let me hold her", he told Kyle. Kyle carefully handed the baby to Stan.

"Hah, she's beautiful, just like you–" The words slipped out before Stan could stop them.

"You think I'm beautiful?" Kyle whispered, looking directly at Stan.

"Uh, um… Yeah, I do. You are beautiful, Kyle. No shit", Kyle frowned at Stan's choice to use a bad word, but you could tell he was happy by the tears forming in the corners of his eyes.

"Well, I think you're beautiful too," Kyle said, looking into Stan's crystal blue eyes, ones just like the baby's.

"Really?" Stan whispered, staring right back into Kyle's emerald ones.

"Uh-huh", Kyle nodded and leaded over to Stan, about to press their lips together. Right as their noses touched though, the baby stirred.

"Heh, oh yeah. The baby", Kyle laughed nervously, looking down at the child.

"Hey, didn't Cherri say we get to name her?" Stan asked, blushing at the fact that he almost kissed his Super Best Friend.

"Hey, yeah!" Kyle exclaimed happily. "So, what do you want to name her?" He asked.

"Bliss", Stan answered simply.

"Bliss? Why Bliss?" Kyle wondered curiously.

"Because every time I'm with you, it feels like bliss", Stan said to Kyle.

"Oh, Stan…" Kyle's eyes were starting to tear up again.

"Don't get all sappy on me now, Kyle, we have a baby to take care of", Stan stated seriously.

"OK, you're right", Kyle looked down at Bliss. "Hey, Bliss, I'm your mommy. And that's your daddy, Stan", Kyle looked at Stan. Bliss laughed.

"Oh my god, did you hear that?" Stan asked, smiling like a fool.

"She has a beautiful laugh", Kyle nodded. He then took Bliss and put her in her crib.

"Night, Bliss. See you when you wake up!" He sung cheerily, like a new mother would.

**Team Two POV**

"C-Craig, where'd the baby go?" Tweek stuttered, looking around and trying to locate his raven friend.

"Right here," Craig called simply. Tweek turned around to see Craig sitting on his bed, rocking the baby. He looked like a picture perfect dad, Tweek thought.

"Oh, I wanted to hold it", Tweek said.

"Him", Craig corrected softly. Tweek had never seen him so act so soft.

"It's a him?" Tweek asked, sitting down carefully next to Craig and taking the baby into his arms.

"Yep. And look at him. He looks like you!" Craig breathed happily, mesmerized by his 'son's' looks.

"What?" Tweek said shocked, looking down. Sure enough, the baby had sandy blonde/yellow hair like himself but he also had deep blue eyes. "Oh… He's go your eyes!" Tweek said happily.

"Yeah. He looks like us, that's amazing. It's like he was made just for us", Craig said, looking at Tweek.

"What do you want to name him?" Tweek asked, blushing at the fact that Craig was now staring at him.

"You pick", Craig said simply.

"Gah! TOO MUCH PRESSURE!" Tweek screamed, startling Craig so much he almost fell off of the bed. The baby still remained asleep though.

"Um, OK… How about…" Tweek stopped to think, biting his lip in thought. It was almost too cute for Craig, and he fought to hold in the urge to kiss the twitchy blonde.

"Cheese, carrot, pickle… Apple, banana, coffee… MOCHA!" Tweek screeched, for he had come to a realization.

"You want to name(Craig fought back the urge to say 'our')the baby 'Mocha'?" He asked. He secretly really loved the name, he thought if Tweek liked it, then let it be.

"Yes. Hi, Mocha", Tweek said, now standing and holding the baby at the same time. He walked over and placed Mocha in his crib, but not before kissing him on the forehead. "Momma and Daddy will be here when you wake up", he said happily.

"I love you so much", Craig whispered to Tweek, even though he knew Tweek couldn't hear him.

"OK Craig, now that that's taken care of, what do you want to do?" Tweek asked, all of his stutters gone. The baby had some sort of affect on him that must have stopped them for awhile, Craig thought.

"Uh, how about we just lay here?" Craig asked. He knew it sounded dumb, yet Tweek seemed to like the idea as he crawled up onto the bed and snuggled against Craig.

"OK", he whispered, before shutting his eyes.

**Team Four POV**

"Shit, where'd that thing come from?" Kenny asked bewilderedly as he stared at the baby in Christophe's arms.

"Vrom me", Christophe stated. He was glad that Kenny couldn't see his face, or he would have seen the smile that proved he was lying.

"WHAT?" Kenny was shocked still, looking at Christophe as if he had grown three heads.

"Yep. Eet came vrom me", he said simply.

"How?" Kenny looked at him. "I thought you had dude-junk not girl-junk. You don't have boobs, that's for sure!"

"Jhoo eediot! Eet deed not come vrom me, eet came from Cherri!" Christophe laughed at Kenny's expression.

"WHAT? You got her knocked up? That happened fast, she didn't even look pregnant–" Kenny was cut off.

"Thees ees our challenge", Christophe stated. "We 'ave to take care ov thees thing for a few weeks".

"Ooooooooh", Kenny said, looking quite relieved. "Hah, I get it now… WOAH! THAT BABY LOOKS LIKE US!" Christophe looked at Kenny shocked.

"Vhat?" He asked.

"Dude, look! The baby has my blue eyes and your brown hair!" Christophe looked at the baby, and after a sharp intake of breath, said:

" 'Ow ded I not noteece zat?"

"Uh, wait, what? You didn't notice?"

"No, I deen't. I don't know vhy, I just deedn't", Christophe replied honestly.

"Huh. What should we name her?" Kenny asked, a grin now on his face.

"Vhat? Eet's a she? Jesus, I know notheeng!" Christophe looked at Kenny.

"Yeah dude. A she that will one day grow up to have huge tits!" Kenny said, the grin on his face now even wider.

"Pedophile, much? C'est effrayant mec. But anyway, I want to name her… Josette", Christophe had stopped laughing long enough to tell Kenny the name.

"First of all, cest de WHAT? And secondly, huh. I like Josette, where'd you get it?" Kenny wondered curiously.

"My shampoo bottle", Christophe simply said. "And c'est effrayant mec basically means 'that's creepy, dude' in French".

"Oh. OK, Josette it is!" Kenny then took Josette from Christophe, picking her up and twirling her around.

"Jesus Christ! She ees steel asleep! Do jhoo vant to wake 'er? No? I deen't theenk zo. Put 'er in 'er creeb", Christophe looked at Kenny seriously.

"Okay… Calm down, Frenchie!" Kenny said, putting Josette in her crib. When he turned back, Christophe was death-glaring at him. "What?"

"Don't ever call me zat ageen, got eet?" He said.

"Yes, sir!" Kenny said, literally melting to death under Christophe's eyes of fire. He then started to walk over to his bed, accidentally tripping over Christophe's leg. This caused both of them to fall onto the bed, landing with a thud.

"Ow," Kenny said, opening his eyes to find none other than the French mercenary lying on top of him, their faces literally an inch away.

Christophe opened one eye slowly, then the other, staring right back at Kenny. He blinked.

"Uh…" Kenny said, desperately trying not to move. Christophe, hearing this, shot up like a gopher being chased out of it's home by a gopher snake.

"Zorry," he said, blushing like mad.

"Uh, no, dude, it was my fault… I DID trip over your leg…" Kenny trailed off, blushing as well.

"Heh, vell I"m goeeng to go deeg a 'ole, zo", Christophe then practically ran out the door, barely grabbing his shovel before the door swung shut behind him.

**Team Ten POV**

"We have to take care of a baby. Unbelievable", Evan complained.

"Cha, this sucks darkness ass", Dylan agreed.

"Darkness ass?" Evan looked at him, an amused smile on his face.

"What? It does…" Dylan blushed ever so slightly, being embarrassed usually didn't happen to him.

"The baby has red eyes", Evan pointed out. Dylan walked over to the crib where the baby had been placed.

"Cha, that's strange. And of course black hair", he added.

"It's a dude. We have to pick a dude name now", Evan said, sounding extremely bored.

"Really? I actually had a _girl's _name picked out. This sucks", Dylan whined. OK, well, as close to a whine as Goths can get.

"What was the name?" Evan asked curiously.

"Tanya", Dylan answered.

"Why?" Evan asked again.

"I don't know", Dylan said, confusion filling his voice.

"OK, he'll be named Tanya", Evan stated, looking back down at the baby boy in the crib.

"What? People will laugh at him though", Dylan said. Evan looked at him, shocked.

"You CARE what other people think about a child who isn't even old enough to have thoughts of it's own?" He asked in amazement.

"Duh. I don't want him to grow up like me. My life sucks. We'll name him Adam", Dylan smiled.

"Dude, you just smiled", Evan said.

"So?" Dylan asked, blushing again.

"It was… Cute", Evan stated, looking at Dylan with complete seriousness.

"R-really?"

"Yeah," Evan answered.

"OK, but if we're gonna act gay, let's not do it in front of the baby", Dylan laughed.

"Whatever, dude. Adam's asleep", Evan said.

"Uh-huh. What if he wakes up?"

"Oh, fine, Dyl. You win", Evan gave in.

"Excellent," he said.

**SHABABABABABABABABA! OK, yes I lied to you. There was no kiss in this chapter. But the next one fo' sho'!**

**BYEBYE My friends! I'll update 2moro after I go eat at Rolling Hills Casino with my BFFS!**


	6. Getting Settled Again Pt 2

**And here's three more POVs! Yes, I know, I'm not doing them all in the same chapter… LOL OK so I saw my friend who I haven't seen in a while and OWG his hair is soooooooo long! He was wearing a shirt with Cartman on it and it said 'Respect My Athouritah!'**

**Yeah, IK I'm weird. Anyway, about not doing them in the same chapter, it's because my back gets tired after a while and I have to take a break, also it makes for more shorter chapters and less super-long ones! Cuz I know it's hard to read a 3,000 word chapter sometimes. LOL**

**Anyway anyway, I don't own anything. So, yeah, read on!**

**Team Seven POV**

"Hell shit damn mother fucker!" Cartman cussed as he walked into the room, holding the bassinet. "Why do I have to be the pansy in this 'relationship' anyway?" He grumbled, setting down the bassinet and picking up the baby out of it.

"Because, you grabbed the bassinet. That makes you the _pansy_ in this 'relationship' ", Gregory huffed, sitting down on his bed. "What shall we name it?" He asked curiously.

"How 'bout, 'I Don't Give a Fucking Shit'?" Cartman retorted. Gregory sighed and yanked the still sleeping baby out of fat-ass's arms.

"No. We'll name it something British", he said matter-of-factly. "Is it a girl or a boy?"

"A fucking baby girl. Great, it'll grow up to be like all of the other bitches I know!" Cartman whined before face-planting into his pillow.

"Huh. She has blonde, curly hair and chocolate brown eyes. That's strange…" Gregory trailed off.

"Mmmmph!" Cartman mumbled into his pillow.

"Oh, whatever. How about we name her Zara?" Gregory asked Cartman, who lifted his face off of his pillow.

"Zara? What kind of name is _Zara_?" He asked.

"It's a British name!" Gregory answered, rolling his eyes.

"Oh, so we're going to name her after the pussies, now are we?" Cartman sighed.

"Do you have a better name?" Gregory asked sarcastically.

"Hmm, no. Fine, Zara it is. Now put her in 'er crib so I can take a nap", Cartman ordered.

"Bloody hell, could you stop ordering me around?" Gregory practically shouted, but put Zara in her crib anyway.

"Umm, no. It's fun. Now leave me alone so I can take a nap!" Cartman face planted into his pillow again, and soon enough he was snoring. Gregory sighed before pulling out a book and starting to read.

**Team Six POV**

"Ooh, he's such a cutie!" Wendy fawned as she played with the baby. Bebe held out her arms.

"It's my turn to take him, you've had him for the whole time!" She whined. Wendy handed her the baby.

"I want to name him Zachary", Wendy said to Bebe.

"OK! Hi, little Zacky! It's your momma, Bebe!" Bebe looked down at Zack, tickling him under the arms and bopping him on the nose. "Isn't he cute?"

"Yeah, he's adorable!" Wendy nodded. Just then, little Zacky gave a big, huge yawn.

"Aww!" Both girls fawned as Bebe walked him over to his crib. "Is the wittle one sweepy?" She said in a baby voice.

"I think it's über cool that we get to take care of him," Wendy said as she laid back on her bed.

"Yeah, I wonder how the boys are doing though?" Bebe voiced. Both the girls laughed.

"We have this thing won already", Wendy said, looking from Bebe to the crib. Bebe nodded.

"This will be a piece of cake!"

**Team Five POV**

"Oh, Damien, this shall be fun, shan't it?" Pip asked. He was standing in the middle of the room holding a baby boy with blonde hair and red eyes, a smile plastered on his face as he rocked the child.

"Uh, yeah… Whatever, Pip", Damien flushed and looked away. He would never admit it, but the Brit actually looked _hot _standing there, his blonde bangs hanging choppily in front of his soft eyes, a cocky yet proper smile on his face. And the way his ass bounced when he rocked the baby…

"Damien, old chap, you were drooling just now", Pip laughed and flipped his bangs out of his eyes to meet Damien's.

"Uh, um…", Damien quickly wiped the drool from his face before continuing. "What should we, uh, you know, name the kid?" He asked.

"I don't know, chum, why don't you pick a name?" Pip replied happily.

"Me? Uh, OK, what about…" Damien trailed off, yet again distracted by Pip's ass. Pip cleared his throat. "Huh? OH! Um… Jack", Damien finally answered.

"OK, Jack it is! Hello little Jack, I'm your daddy! Well, hmm, I suppose I'm actually the woman in this relationship, so I'm actually your mom, and that's your dad", Pip raised the child up and pointed to Damien when he said 'dad'. He was met by blazing red lust-filled eyes.

"Um, Damien, are you OK?" Pip asked, carefully putting Jack into his crib before walking toward the son of Satan cautiously.

Damien was now standing as well, closing the gap between him and the Brit in two long strides. He cupped Pip's face in his hand.

"Wh-what are you doing, Damien?" Pip squeaked out, cautious of the taller, black haired boy now holding his face.

"Something I should have done a long time ago", Damien answered, and with that, crashed his lips to Pip's.

At first Pip was nothing but shoved, and Damien felt like he was kissing a stone wall. But then the blonde relaxed, and found himself kissing back. Damien took this as a good sign and snaked his tongue out, licking Pip's bottom lip. Pip opened his mouth eagerly, meeting Damien's tongue with his own. Damien, now quite aroused by this situation, bit Pip's lip lightly before moving his mouth down and latching onto the Brit's neck.

"Oh, god… Damien…" Pip moaned quietly, arching his neck so that Damien could have more access to it. Damien's hands wrapped around Pip's waist, pulling him closer. He let himself bask in the moment, feeling up Pip's curves and letting his hand fall down to grope Pip's ass.

Pip let out a squeak of approval as he ground his hip's into Damien's, making the raven all the more turned on.

"I want to fuck you so badly," Damien whispered into Pip's ear, sending chills of pleasure down Pip's back.

"God, yes… Damien, take me… Please!" The Brit was practically begging now, all of the tension between the two finally about to be released.

Damien slid his hand down into Pip's boxers, taking his erection between his fingers and starting to pump. Pip's eyes rolled back into his head as he panted heavily, begging Damien to go faster.

Damien complied, pumping the blonde's dick all the more quicker, until he was interrupted by a baby's cry.

Damien pulled his hand away from Pip, starting to walk toward the crib. "Jack's crying, what do we do?" He asked.

"Oh, let him be! Bloody Hell, I've waited for this ever since I met you! Now forget about the baby and fuck me!" Pip cried, desperation rising in his voice.

"No, we have to do something. We cam't fuck when he's awake. Now, what do I do?" Damien turned to Pip, who's face was flushed, blonde choppy bangs hanging even further over one eye.

"Oh, I don't know!" Pip whined. "I can't think straight. Let me go take care of this", he eyed his erection, "before I help you. Try rocking him or something!" Pip then stormed off to the bathroom, slamming the door behind him.

Damien turned to Jack. "OK, I know you're upset, but you just made me miss out on the hottest piece of ass I've ever known. So please dear God, next time you want to cry, do it after mommy and daddy have fucked!"

"I he-heard that!" Pip panted from the bathroom. Damien rolled his eyes.

"Anyway, I know it's not your fault. But I'm still pissed, so do you think you could be quiet?" Damien asked Jack, who continued to cry despite the pleas of his dad. Damien growled before picking Jack up out of the crib and rocking him, just like Pip had done. Soon after, Jack stopped crying.

"Oh, thank God!" Damien said, putting Jack back into the crib before collapsing from exhaustion and sexual frustration onto his bed.

A few minutes later, Pip walked out of the bathroom, back to looking the part of a _very_ proper young British man. He looked at Damien, who had fallen asleep. Pip crawled up next to him and snuggled up close, closing his eyes and whispering 'I love you' before falling asleep.

**WOW, I actually just wrote foreplay, didn't I? Oh my gosh, I'm growing up! No, I didn't stop the smut because I was too embarrassed to write it, I stopped it so that I could put it into a different chapter. Hah, I told you someone(s) would kiss, and they did! I'm not a liar! Hahahahahaha!**

**Wow, I– OK, um… You know what? Never mind. The next chapter will be the last three POVs of the teams getting settled with their babies, and then Cherri will give them yet another challenge.**

**ENJOY! I'll update soon!**


	7. Parenting Classes and Disqualifications

**Umm, would you hate me if I didn't write team three, eight, and nine's POV? Because OH MY GOSH I've just been so frazzled lately, and I really want to move on in the story…**

**OK, I don't care if you'll hate me, I'm not writing it. If you want to know those teams baby's names and looks, PM me and I'll tell you. BUT I'm not going to be bothered to write it. So here we are, chapter… Um, oh! Chapter seven!**

Cherri walked up and dow the line of cabins, rapping her knuckles against each door and shouting, "Get up and out! We have an activity!" to each team.

Slowly, each team made their way out and into the clearing, lining up in pairs like every time before. The only team that did not make their way out immediately was team four, or Kenny and Christophe. Cherri walked up to their door, banging her fist on it and yelling for them to 'get their butts up or they would be disqualified'.

The door creaked open ever so slightly, before Christophe sneaked his way out and shut it quickly behind him.

"Where's Kenny?" Cherri asked horsely, her throat tired from shouting.

"Um, hehe, about zat… I maee 'ave caused a beet of a problem for Kenny… 'Es een zere, um, takeeng care of eet", Christophe explained, blushing a bit before speed-walking toward his place in line, avoiding Cherri's glare.

"Ugh! Just wonderful!" Cherri groaned, waiting impatiently at cabin four's door.

_**5 MINUTES LATER…**_

Kenny opened the door, popping out cheerfully as he flashed Cherri his famous McCormick grin. She just stared at him, a fiery anger burning up behind her irises.

"Great! Now that Kenny has joined us, I want to make an announcement. For our first activity, you will be taking a parenting class. I all put you up into two groups, each with five teams. The first group will be team one, team two, team four, team five, and team ten. The other group will be team three, team six, team seven, team eight, and team nine. OK, so, first group, you will be taking the class first. Meet me in the cabin marked three twenty. Other group, you may return to your respected cabins. Chop chop, we don't have all day!" Cherri rambled, clapping her hands together at the last part and then walking into cabin 3~20. "Oh, and by the way, there will be a test at the end of the class. If your group doesn't pass it, everyone in that group will be disqualified", she added. Everyone gasped, jaws dropping to the floor. This was not good news.

Group two made their way back to their cabins, while group one huddled together.

"Hey, so, Christophe?" Stan asked the French mercenary.

"Jhes?" Christophe responded, looking at Stan blankly.

"What did you, uh, exactly _do_ to Kenny?"

Christophe blushed before answering, "Uh, I accidentally 'eet 'eem on ze head vith my shovel and made heem bleed…"

"Oh. Cause the way you explained it to Cherri, it made it sound like you–" Stan was cut off when Kyle clapped a feminine hand over Stan's mouth.

"What he means was…" Kyle trailed off, looking around nervously and not daring to meet Christophe's death glare.

"Vhat deed 'e zeenk I deed to Kenny?" He asked, humoring himself.

"Oookay, let's not get too carried away here", Kenny said, stepping in and playing peacekeeper. "We have to go take a dumb ass parenting class in order to learn how to take care of our babies, and if we don't all ass the test at the end, our group is going to be disqualified!"

"Oh, shit, yeah. We better make our won to that damn class then", Craig said, Tweek clutching to his arm.

"GAH! To much pressure! I don't wanna be disqualified! The gnomes will get me! OH DEAR GOD… And then they'll go BDSM bat shit crazy on me and tie me to a bed and rape me one by one! GAH!" Tweek flung himself into Craig, burying his face into Craig's shirt so that no one could see him cry. Although it didn't really matter, considering that you could probably hear his sobs a mile away.

Everyone looked at him, wide-eyed. Who knew someone like Tweek could know about… OK, never mind. He _is_ pretty paranoid, but still!

"Tweek, no one is going to go BDSM on you. Except maybe–" Kenny was cut off by Craig's hand.

"NOT EVEN", he said to Kenny, growling before he turned back to Tweek and hugged him, rocking back and forth and kissing him on the head.

_**IN PARENTING CLASS, GROUP ONE**_

"You will be, um, parenting some munchkins over the next, like, month or so.. You need to know how to, like, do it, so I have to, um, teach you. Firstly, babies cry. What do we, like, do when babies cry? We, like, um, rock them or change their diapers… Sometimes we feed 'em, right? OK. Next, babies, um… What else do babies, like, do?" Jaz stood in front of group one, gaily flipping his hair and fixing his shirt while walking up and down the front isle with a yard stick in his hand.

"Uh, they need to eat?" Evan answered Jaz.

"Cha, and they shit _all the tim_e", Dylan added.

"Um, OK….. OK, OK, OK, so… They need to, like, eat, right? Yeah, well, um, what do babies, like, eat? They eat milk. Well, like, they drink it not eat it. And, um, guys don't have udders so, like, the babies will have to eat something else. Try, like, baby food or something. I recommend baby food. You, um, all have baby food in one of your, like cupboards in your, like, cabin? Yes, um, you do. So…" Jaz trailed off, snapping a pink chewing gum bubble with his tongue.

"Are ve reelly beeng teeched by a seex year old?" Christophe mumbled to Kenny, who glumly nodded in response.

"Oh, and they, like, poop. To change a diaper, um, you take the diaper and strap it on the baby… Right? Good. We're, um, done learning now. I will ask you, like, three questions. If you get even, um, one of them, like, wrong, all of your are disqualified. OK, so, um, what do you, like, do when a baby cries?" Jaz asked.

"Rock it, or change their diapers, or feed it", everyone said in unison.

"Correct, um, and what do we, um, feed the baby?"

"Milk. We don't have milk because guys don't have utters so we feed it baby food, which can be found in one of our cupboards in our cabins", everyone, again answered in unison.

"Fab! You guys, like, are doing good. OK, and, um, what do you do to change a, like, diaper?" Jaz asked the final question.

"Strap the diaper on the baby", everyone chorused.

"Cherri, they won, like, the contest?" Jaz looked up at a camera in the ceiling as he spoke.

"OK, so, um, you guys are, like, free to go now…" Jaz looked back at the group of teens, who all jumped up out of their seats and ran out the door.

_**OUTSIDE IN THE CLEARING**_

"Hah, piece of cake", Damien said as he stretched. Pip looked up at him dreamily.

Suddenly, a cabin door opened behind them and ten tired and very pissed off teens trudged out.

"How did we miss that question?" Bebe whined, looking at Wendy.

"I don't know… Cherri made it so unbelievably hard!" Wendy replied.

"Wait, wait, wait. Cherri taught you?" Craig asked, looking at the group of just recently disqualified teens.

"Yeah, and the fucking bitch made the questions so hard!" Cartman whined, punching the air.

"Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha, we were taught by a six-year old!" Kenny bragged, sticking his tongue out.

"WHAT?" Everyone in group two chorused.

"Yeah, well, see you guys back in South Park then…" Kyle trailed off. Stan nodded and waved.

The angry group of students were then led out the gate by two men wearing black suits.

"OK! So, you have all passed the test! With flying colors too, according to Jaz. So, now, only five teams are left. Wow, I got rid of all the girls pretty quickly, huh?" Cherri realized, looking around at the ten boys. "Oh, well! Remember, I'm evil, and I do this for my own entertainment. So be prepared!" Cherri winked and walked away into her cabin, shutting the door behind her.

"That bitch is _insane_!" Dylan complained.

"Yep", everyone else agreed.

"So, what. Do we go to our cabins now?" Stan asked curiously.

"I guess zo, I meen–" Christophe was cut off y Cherri, who had poked her head out of her cabin door.

"Oh, yeah. And as a remark for doing so well, you all get a brake from baby care tonight. Use the time wisely!" She smiled before shutting the door again.

"Well, then. Pip and I will be off to our cabin…" Damien trailed off. He and Pip walked to their respective cabin and went inside, shutting the door.

"Yeah, and me and Tweek…" Craig trailed off, leading Tweek back to their cabin.

"Us too", Stan added. They also walked to their cabin

"Yeah, well, see you guys tomorrow!" Kenny rushed and grabbed Christophe by the arm before dragging him into their cabin.

"Is everyone here gay?" Evan wondered aloud.

"Are you?" Dylan asked.

"Never mind. Let's get some sleep before we have to take care of that… _thing_… again", Evan quickly responded.

"Cha", Dylan agreed, and they made their way into their cabin.

**I can understand if you all hate me now. This story has no plat whatsoever and I'm basically just writing it because I can, and because I want to. It's fun, and interesting, even though it's kind of PWP. But with out the porn. Yet. So, until next time, bye!**


	8. Your Opinion?

**You now have the permission to completely ignore my horrible writing. What happened? I was so good at it! Well, it's not that I'm now somehow magically **_**bad **_**at it, it's just that this story in particular is kind of like a drunk person took pieces of totally different puzzles and jammed them together until they made even a lick of sense. So tell me. How many of you would care if I deleted this and started over? Like, I actually have a good idea now that could lead somewhere. Soooooooooooooooooooooo, I'm thinking about starting over. I'll wait a few hours to see what you guys ant me to do, whether to continue this or start over (I won't take offense if you tell me to start over, I **_**want **_**to start over) and then I'll read the reviews and decide from there. Good day to you all, and peace out mothafucka!**


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